simply living (with burns to prove it)

i’ve been busy lately. too busy to write. but not to busy to think. and one of the things that i’ve been thinking about is goals. a potential employer asked that i fill out a questionnaire that specifically addressed the goals that i have set for my future – both in the short-term and the long-term, both work-related and personal. and after a bit of time, i found that there were several personal goals that i could set for myself.

the two goals that have seemed to make the most impact, or at least taken up an active space in my brain, and the following.

one. i would like to lose my inhibitions and
act more like a kid around my kids.

two. i would like to do a better job of living
in the moment.

setting goals in the past has often proved pointless as other things get in the way of fulfilling them or they are intentionally (or unintentionally) set to the side for a variety of reasons. but these are two that i would like to fulfill. and i’ve already started.

it was a warm, sunday evening and the faith community that i’m a part of was meeting at a local bandshell instead of its typical, weekly location. this was the second week that we had decided to meet outdoors and on this particular week, the staff had decided to rent one of those inflatable obstacle course/slide contraptions for the kids to use both before and after the worship experience. and they did. but a few of us adults decided that we needed to use it too.

so after the service ended, a group of us made our way over to this amazing piece of equipment and proceeded to race each other through the initial opening, interior obstacles, short climbing wall, and down the slide. we raced and we raced and we raced. and i won and i won and i won. i must have gone through that thing twenty to thirty times. the fact that i won really didn’t matter. it was the fact that i kept going through. running like crazy. flipping in the air. acquiring rug (plastic) burns along my arms. smiling and laughing the entire time. i didn’t care what people were thinking. i was having a blast. and i was living in the moment.

it may seem silly, but this was actually a powerful time for me. a time of redefining who i am. a time of letting go. a time of release. and the best part about it all was that i recognized that i was fulfilling two of my most recent goals.

yes, i was losing my inhibitions. yes, i was living in the moment. but more importantly, i was simply living. i was experiencing life in a deep and meaningful way.

may i continue to experience this life. may i continue to live. and may i enjoy it all.

autobiography in five short chapters

one.
i walk down the street.
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
i fall in.
i am lost and i am helpless.
it isn’t my fault.
it takes forever to find a way out.

two.
i walk down the same street.
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
i pretend i don’t see it.
i fall in again.
i can’t believe i am in the same place.
but it isn’t my fault.
it still takes a long time to get out.

three.
i walk down the same street.
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
i see it there.
i still fall in.
it’s a habit.
my eyes are open.
i know where i am.
it is my fault.
i get out immediately.

four.
i walk down the same street.
there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
i walk around it.

five.
i walk down a different street.

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