shift in theology

i’ve been thinking a lot about life and how it can many times just plain suck. and then i’ve been thinking a lot about how i should be praying when i’m going through these times that are anything but enjoyable – when i’m unhappy, stressed out, lonely, feeling abandoned, feeling let down, sick to my stomach, etcetera, etcetera. i used to pray for god’s will to be done – often after i prayed for everything that i want – trying to be sensitive to the whole idea that what god has placed on my heart is both his will and what i want. i guess i still pray that way when the situation only involves me, but i’ve realized that as soon as it involves someone else, i can’t really pray that way anymore. sure, god can do anything that he wants to do and force his will to happen, but isn’t that outside of his character? he’s not going to make someone else (or me for that matter) do anything. he gives us free will to choose as we desire. so, even if i want god’s will to be done and am feeling like i know what that would be, someone else may or may not choose to succumb to his will – which means that if they choose to follow their own will instead of god’s, they not only mess things up for themselves, but they mess it up for me as well. and vice versa, that i have the power to mess things up for myself as well as others that i’m involved with (friends, family, coworkers, and many more). that sucks! the positive in all of this is that god can work in messy situations and he can clean up wherever and whenever we make them. i don’t know that i like any of this, but i do know that i’ve started to pray very differently. i’ve been praying that god speaks truth to people and reveals things so at least they are making choices and decisions with a full deck of cards. i’ve been praying for the holy spirit to prompt people – placing people, situations, thoughts, etcetera on their hearts – so that at the very least they have to acknowledge those things and decide what to do with them. well, those are my thoughts for the day. like i said, i don’t like them, but i think that i understand them.