taking a step back to get a closer look

i spent some time with a friend yesterday who made the following statement while discussing spirituality. he said, “sometimes i find myself needing to take a step back in order to get a closer look.” and in the context of our conversation, it made complete sense to me. in another context, it may have seemed like an oxymoron. but at that time and at that place, it didn’t. it just made sense. and over the past twenty-four hours or so, i’ve been thinking a lot more about the idea of oxymorons in my life. or perhaps the notion that things don’t always need to make sense.

why have i convinced myself that everything needs to make sense in my life? why can’t i be more open to looking at life in ways that don’t (make sense)? why do i limit my point of view based on background, upbringing, teaching, beliefs, etcetera? perhaps it’s because my mind, heart, and spirit keep looking at things through the same filter. don’t misunderstand me. i’m not saying that filters are bad. in fact, i think that filters can by good and healthy. but often, i see myself (and others) creating filters that are fixed. they are closed instead of open. and the idea of change is out of the question. we tend to interpret life from one point of view – the same point of view – over and over and over again. and when you look at things from only one point of view, you tend to think that your view is the right view as well as the only view. a bit scary.

i want to do a better job of considering things that don’t make sense to me. i want to do more digging. i want to probe and question more. i want to test and experiment more. i want to stop filling in the blanks of my life (and others) with answers simply because they make sense. (in most cases, they’re not the right answers anyway.) i want to be okay with things that don’t make sense. i want to be an oxymoron. (i think.)

so, what will that require?

it will require me to think bigger in order to think smaller. it will require me to get the overview before i can craft the summary. it will require me to go to the back of the line so that everything is now in front of me. and it will require me to step back in order to get closer.