day seventeen

surprised by a heavy heart. my heart felt heavy today for a friend. i want god to take action. to make himself known. to reveal himself. but that’s not really in his character, is it? he doesn’t force his ways on any of us. he simply asks that we invite him in first. here’s the problem. i believe that my friend has already invited god in, but doesn’t feel like he ever showed up. i don’t know what to do or what to say. i only know that my heart is heavy.

i can only imagine how heavy jesus’ heart must have felt as he interacted with and engaged other people on earth. i wonder sometimes if he ever struggled with depression. i can’t imagine having the power to see into everyone’s lives – the hurts, the struggles, the baggage, the bondage – and not have it affect me intellectually, emotionally, and physically. it had to have affected jesus in these ways too. and does it still affect him? does he still struggle with these feelings as he intercedes for us on a consistent basis?

i guess my heaviness makes me a little like jesus. that's a bit of a surprise – to feel like jesus when you don't really feel that great. god, help me to understand this.