subtraction

i’ve recently realized that all of the effort i’ve been putting in to grow and evolve and change has been a huge waste of my time. i’ve been trying to “become” the person that i think i’m supposed to be. but it’s clear to me now, that i’ve been heading in the wrong direction. and i now realize that i need to turn around to discover who i was created to “be” thirty-four years ago instead - without all of the things that i've added. you see, i’ve added things to my life – unnecessary things – and they are blocking my ability to see who i really am.

i’ve always thought that we go through life – with all of it’s joys and pains and trials and successes and experiences – so that we can be shaped into who god really wants us to become. but the more i think about it, the more i’m convinced that i’ve been wrong. dead wrong.

life’s experiences were never meant to shape us into the men and women that god wanted us to become. he already created us just as he wanted us to be. no, life’s experiences were meant to help us realize who we really are.

so, what is my purpose in life? to be the person that god created me to be. it’s not about using all of the things that i’ve acquired. talents i’ve learned. knowledge i’ve added. formulas i’ve developed. it’s not about me making myself better. why? because god has already given me the tools that i need to live a purposeful life. and he’ll reveal them in his own timing. all i need to do is to use what he has given me. and that encourages me. in fact, it makes life seem a bit easier. less pressure and lower expectations.

we are creatures with a natural bent towards our creator. we don’t need to blaze a trail. we don’t need to leave a legacy. we don’t really need to do anything. we can just “be.” and in that “being,” god will transform us. not into something different, but back into the person that he originally created.

as i write this, i’m reminded of one of jesus’ teachings, when he talked about entering the kingdom of heaven. he said that unless we become like the children that surrounded him, it would be really, really hard to enter the kingdom.

why?

because they were thinking and feeling and acting just as god had created them to be. they hadn’t had the opportunity to add all kinds of meaningless things to their lives – emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical habits – that had become distractions. they were willing to listen. they were willing to submit. they were willing to admit that they couldn’t do it on their own. they were raw. and they were pure. they were following the cues of their souls. and they were exactly as their creator had made them. exactly as their creator had intended.

i’m tired of having to push things out of the way to get to my soul. and i hope that i can begin the process of subtraction – of eliminating those things that tend to block my way.