day five

one small, sweet surprise – and overall, just a good day. having taken the day off from work, i was able to spend time with a couple of really good friends to catch up on life, laugh, and just be. i walked around lake of the isles with the first friend i met and had lunch on the patio of a downtown restaurant with the other. it was very nice.

i was much more conscious today of how i might be a better reflector of god – thinking that perhaps if i’m willing, god could be using me to be the surprise for someone else. i’m not sure if he used me at all in that capacity today, but i like the idea of being a willing participant. and i like the fact that it’s an internal desire – that it starts within and then moves outward to affect others. it gives me hope that the desires of my heart may have some hint of purity in terms of motives.

later in the afternoon, i went grocery shopping and then picked up my daughters to spend the evening with them. i didn’t feel very patient and found myself trying to talk them out of certain activities, but ultimately caved so that they could end up doing what they wanted. i could sense that their repeated efforts to try and change my mind stemmed more from a desire to have fun than an attempt to simply get their own way. it’s amazing to me how they can be so sensitive in certain situations and then so strong and unaffected emotionally in others. it requires that i be very aware of responding to them “in the moment.” i feel like i fail most of the time, but i’m starting to allow myself a bit of grace.

my oldest daughter continues to surprise me with her knack for asking deep questions and wanting to dialogue about stuff. and it’s not just that she is beginning to ask great questions, but she actually has some wonderful and insightful things to say as we discuss them. my youngest likes to test the waters a bit more, but she is also going through this phase where she really wants to demonstrate how much she loves you through constant affection. it’s very sweet and seems to balance the “testing” part. i think that if i did a better job of paying attention, i would find that they probably surprise me more often than i realize.

so what was the sweet surprise? it happened when i walked back to my daughters’ bedroom to light their candle and then tuck them in for the night. we’ve just started this tradition of praying before crawling into bed, which visually, is very cool. it’s cool because i have a trundle bed for them to sleep in and we end up kneeling on the lower bed with our elbows resting on the upper bed – kind of like our own little kneeler, except way more comfortable. anyway, as my youngest and i walked back to the bedroom (she was being the little helper that she loves to be) we found that my oldest had already started her communication with god. however, she wasn’t praying with words. rather, she was praying in song. and this wasn’t just any song. it’s a song that she learned in school in the hebrew language. and every time she sings it, i can feel the presence of christ around us. perhaps she can feel it too. in fact, i can still remember the awestruck look on her face when i explained that she was singing in jesus’ language – the language that he used when he was on earth. she knows that it pleases me to hear her sing it and i think she knows that it pleases her heavenly papa too. it was a sweet bedtime surprise.